There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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