I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
