i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
