sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
