I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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