Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I need a beard to bite.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
