I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
