Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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