My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
