Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
