i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
