we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
