ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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