CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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