He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He passed out mid-signature
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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