you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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