We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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