on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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