You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
