i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize