i just google imaged poop.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
