You just made me feel so damn special
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
