dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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