I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish you could order shots online.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
