R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
