Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
