Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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