I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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