you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize