No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
