Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
