yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
