Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm both gender and math confused
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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