what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
