ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
