Fuck appropriateness.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
