His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
