Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
