My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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