i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
