Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
