I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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