I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
