You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
