I CAN MOONWALK!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
