You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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