Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
