Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
