just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
