It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
