What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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