Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
