Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
