i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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