so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
