Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
