it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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