The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
