Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This house was built for laser tag.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
