would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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