If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
