"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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