i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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