I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You left your phone here
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