Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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