I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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