so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
