I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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