I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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