Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
