It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
