My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
